I am the Original Hillary J…

Ever since the age of two I’ve been a performer

True child of the 80s – Ladies, I’m a gay tease

And such a big geek that I blew a Transformer…

 

Left alone in the dark – just 'allspark'

And a fertile imagination

Yeah, for brains I got sh*t

Cause I’m only half-lit

With no wit to kick through this mental constipation

 

In deciding – I’m indecisive

Don’t own an iPad cause I’m not divisive

Not sure if hating germs makes me Anti-Septic

My ex is such a jerk that he must be epileptic…

 

If I PREPOSITION you –

Will you go in AND out with me?

Till we can’t get over the spell I put you under

And we both end up with an S.T…

D.O.T. will get you there –

As long as you have G.P.S. – Quick I.M. me the address!

I AM ME and I’d like to address

Our dependence on technology –

But I digress…

 

Cancer almost killed her in 2006, but she made it her bitch and has been laughing at it and everything else people AREN’T supposed to laugh at ever since. The former Disney Jello-diving Diva turned military journalist turned filmmaker will do anything for the sake of comedy. From her award-winning indie mockumentary ACTION!!! (2010) to her eight-year tenure as director of Daytona Beach’s Random Acts Of Insanity Comedy Improv Troupe, the self-proclaimed Average Goddess and Full Sail BFA grad endows every piece she writes with her sadistic sense of humor.

 

Feel free to VIEW RESUME for more information or  CONTACT Hillary for additional samples or moral support!